How appropriate is this book? Not to give up, keep trying, we can do this, we can do this! Never thought I would get inspiration from a children's book. HA! God teaches us in many ways doesn't He.
The second thing that really inspired me was a song. I had to run to the pharmacy and I was actually alone so I grabbed one of my favorite Cd's (Natalie Grant) and turned up the volume as loud as it would go and started singing one of my favorite songs of her but his time was different. I found myself crying and unable to get any of the words out because it was exactly how I was feeling.
Especially the lines that say "Bitterness has plagued my heart many times before, my life has been like broken glass and I have kept the score of all my shattered dreams......"
Lately I have been VERY bitter and jealous of a lot. I have defiantly kept the score of all of my shattered dreams. I have dreamed of what being a mom would be like and what our lives could have been like and then it hit me...... I have to create new dreams for us. For Emily.
If I just dwell on what could have been, what should have been, I will only being cheating Emily out of the best life I can give her.
I am not saying that everything is great and perfect or that I have it all together. Truth be told I will probably cry just about everyday and grieve the life I dreamed. That is ok though, as long as I am dreaming new dreams for us.
It's only by God's grace that I stand, that I get up and breath, that I go on hours and hours of no sleep, and that I have not given up my (new) dreams.
I will not be moved.